You don’t need to reinvent the wheel every time you create

You know that joke, “If I’m not perfect on the first try, it’s trash, I’m tras,h and I’ll never try again?” 

I always confidently said that this one doesn’t apply to me, despite being a bit of a perfectionist. Because I’ve never been good at something on the first try. Every brush stroke and color choice is learned and grown through effort. But I have this habit of becoming inspired by every amazing piece of art I see and deciding that THAT is what I should do next. Naturally, I then try to incorporate whatever it is that I’ve been inspired by, fail to achieve the look or feel I want to and conclude that I am quite obviously a terrible artist and should give up making art altogether. 

Inevitably, there comes a point where I pick up a pencil (or my apple pencil) and return to my familiar techniques and make something that actually isn’t that awful and remind myself that maybe past me was a bit harsh.
Despite doing this dance a million times, I keep falling for it. 

At my core, there’s a part of me that feels like I’m a hand's reach away from being a ‘real artist’. I feel confident saying I’m a growing illustrator or a product designer. They feel comfortable to me. But that artist one remains just out of reach. And no matter how much I grow or change, it always remains out of reach. And I keep reaching for it. Hopelessly craving it.

When I see art that makes my heart skip a beat, there’s a part of me that hungers to create that feeling in others. To legitimise my art and my choice for a creative life. So I keep searching for that missing piece that will end up elevating my art in such a way that it will finally feel legitimate. In my quest to become a better artist, I skipped over a crucial step. In order to get better at anything, repetition is a necessary component. Many artists become great because they give themselves the time to practice and improve in whatever direction they’ve chosen to go in at that moment. 

You don’t have to reinvent the entire wheel every time you create in order to further your skills. You can take bits and pieces from the last iteration you had. Do it over and over until something tugs at you and makes you go “oh, but what if I add/remove/change this one thing?” And see how that turns out.
What if, instead of changing everything every single time, you tried one thing? Instead of trying to throw out and reexamine your style in this never-ending quest for a style that will legitimise you as an artist, you lean into what feels natural until you feel like you want to do something else. Not because you ‘Must Get Better’. Or because what you do now isn’t ‘Good Enough’, but because it feels right? Fun. 

Not every piece needs to be a battle. 

You’re allowed to feel comfortable while you create. 

Because growth happens in the space you nurture.

Hopefully next time around I'll remember that too ;)

With love,

Leonie